I’ve come across more than a few funny, sometimes thought provoking coffee quotes and here’s a few of my favorites. I know that I’m missing some good ones, so if you have any, please leave them in the comments at the end.
A morning without coffee is like sleep.
-Author Unknown
Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.
-David Letterman
Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
-Author Unknown
Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-Alphonse Allais
Caffeine isn’t a drug, it’s a vitamin!
-Author Unknown
Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning.
-Author Unknown
I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!
-Author Unknown
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
-T.S. Eliot
Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!’
-Conan O’Brien
Is it possible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? What happened with coffee? Did I miss a meeting? They have every other flavor but coffee-flavored coffee. They have mochaccino, frappaccino, cappuccino, al pacino…Coffee doesn’t need a menu, it needs a cup.
-Denis Leary
I’ll quit coffee. It won’t be easy drinking my Bailey’s straight, but I’ll get used to it. It’ll still be the best part of waking up.
-From the television show Will and Grace
Coffee falls into the stomach … ideas begin to move, things remembered arrive at full gallop … the shafts of wit start up like sharp-shooters, similies arise, the paper is covered with ink …
-Honoré de Balzac
I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.
Ronald Reagan
Some quotes for those of us who spend too much time in front of the computer:
C:COFFEE.POT missing (A)bort (R)etry (F)all asleep?
-Author Unknown
C:>COFFEE.COM error. Contact programmer J. Valdez.
-Author Unknown
COFFEE.SYS Not Found: User startup disabled.
-Author Unknown
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{ 12 comments }
wow you really are the coffee master. I never even realized there would be quotes about coffee, or that many famous ones.
I try.
I know there’s more good quotes out there, but of course as I was putting this post together, I couldn’t find any of them.
these are great. I love that sleep is a symptom of caffiene deprivation.
I think that one and “A morning without coffee is like sleep.” are my favorites.
Wonderful quotes. Great finds, Mike.
Thanks Allen. On a separate note, I’m probably getting a French pass this weekend.
Eat a handful of coffee grounds and chug a cup of scalding hot water like a real man!
That’s a good one!
If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning. ~ Mae West
if you are on facebook – would love your participation in:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Not-Before-My-Coffee/310013311262?ref=mf
.-= Lorri´s last blog ..Is it possible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? What happened with coffee? Did I miss a meeting? They have every other flavor but coffee-flavored coffee. They have mochaccino, frappaccino, cappuccino, al pacino…Coffee doesn’t need a menu, it needs a cup. ~ Denis Leary =-.
Here ya go -
“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.” – Dave Barry
Instant human, just add coffee!
My blood type is coffee.
“I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.” ~ Steven Wright
“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” ~ T.S. Eliot
“I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.” ~ Ronald Reagan
“Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” ~ David Letterman
“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.” ~ Alex Levine
“Behind every successful woman…is a substantial amount of coffee.” ~ Stephanie Piro
“We usually don’t notice until the coffee tastes funny.” ~ Anne Afdahl
“Tis pity wine should be so deleterious, for tea and coffee leave us much more serious.” ~ Lord Byron
“Coffee which makes the politician wise, and see through all things with his half-shut eyes.” ~ Alexander Pope
“Are we sure it is desirable for a man’s spirit not to be at war with itself, or that it is better to be serene and ready to go to dinner than to be excited and unwilling to stop for a cup of coffee even?” ~ William Saroyan
“Tobacco, coffee, alcohol, hashish, prussic acid, strychnine, are weak dilutions; the surest poison is time.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.” ~ Charles Maurice de Talleyrand
“No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.” ~ Sheikh Abd-al-Kadir
“Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water.” ~ The Women’s Petition Against Coffee
“This guy makes coffee nervous.” ~ Bobby Heenan on the Ultimate Roider
“The God of Decaffeinated Coffee.” ~ Joel Robinson
“Coffee, two sugars, cream… and aspirin.” ~ Sinclair
“It seems to me that trying to live without friends is like milking a bear to get cream for your morning coffee. It is a whole lot of trouble, and then not worth much after you get it.” ~ Zora Neale Hurston
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